Greetings

Hello all,
This is A Misplaced Yank. Seriously. I'd like to talk to you a few minutes about myself and my contributions to this blog. They will be vile, twisted, weird, uncomfortable, and chock full of incorrect grammar for full effect. And furthermore I'll probably use the wrong affect to further this affect.  Get used to it.


A little bit about my day.
I woke in drunken stupor headed for the john this morning and decided I'm no longer participating in small talk. Small talk... silly questions and responses for people you don't particularly know but are forced to converse with because of proximity. Yikes. Example.

Irritating guy: "Hey...(awkward pause because he doesn't actually know my name)... Heh.. how's school going?'

A misplaced yank: " Good, good... (awkward pause because I don't actually know his name either but have making fun of him for weeks because he doesn't know mine.) ... school is really picking up, last few weeks.. uh... this semester ya know."

IG:" Well we all did it..."
AMY:" Well not EVERYBODY... heh."
IG: (he doesn't laugh because his sense of humor is dull) "Well... most of us. You'll be fine. I was. Heh."
AMY:" Right... so ... what would you like to drink?" (because the misplaced yank waits tables)
IG:"I don't know... what do you think is good?" (interesting, he never asks this because he usually doesn't care what I think)
AMY: "I think the (insert fancy italian wine pronunciation) is really delicious, full bodied, a bit spicy with hints of blackberry."
IG:"... huh... ten bucks a glass (he thinks I'm trying to pad the bill (sidenote: I totally am) because I suggest something decent) just bring me the pinot. Whatever."
AMY: (insert condescending) Of course sir, excellent choice...( under breath, "you prick")
And scene... Great job everyone, you really sold it.

Sidenote: I'm actually sitting in this place right now writing about this conversation. Whoa.
Other sidenote: I walked to the store to get Guinness so everyone has an excuse to get wasted this evening because it's St. Patty's and witnessed two people breaking up in a very small car. Normally this would be depressing except both people were very fat. Ha, sorry, I think that's just a little funny. The Geo looked like a crescent roll can that you just slapped on the counter and the sides are leaking dough. Great visual right?

That's all for the evening. Much love and strangeness.
-A misplaced yank