Jokes that aren't funny relating to eating out (at a restaurant you sickos)

Misplaced yank here....

I'd like to discuss something and get some feedback if at all possible. These jokes are not funny so I better not catch you laughing. I would really like to know why people continue to use these.

Joke 1
Scene: Dinner with the family and grandma -- waiter approaches
Young man: (to waiter) I'll have a beer to drink
Waiter: Sure... I just need to see some ID.
Young man hands ID to waiter. He checks it.
Waiter: (to grandma) Ma'am what would you like to drink?
Grandma: I'll have a stiff chardonnay. (pause with stupid frumpy look) Do you need to check MY ID?
Waiter looks puzzled because she's old as hell and no he doesn't need to check her ID
Waiter: uhh... that won't be necessary.
Grandma: What? Are you saying I don't look young?

(No, you don't, you're old and it will stay that way. Stop making everyone else uncomfortable with this idiotic joke. Jokes have a lifespan and you've been raising this one from the dead for the last forty years like a demented joke zombie that you conjure up when the time is right to make everyone hate you, feel uncomfortable, and make yourself feel good because someone else feels dumb. I make dolts like you actually dig your ID out of that time capsule you call a purse and show it to me so I can verify that, yes, you are five generation older than everyone at this table and Moses is a personal friend of yours. Stop asking people to ID you, they don't want to ID anybody. They're required to because if they don't some genius who got a DUI recently and is working with the cops will try and bust them for not ID'ing people, not because they don't want to, but because it's likely that your stupid joke will come up. And sometimes the $250 fine is worth you shutting up about your age.)

Joke 2
Couple finishing dinner -- Waiter approaches
Waiter: So how was everything?
Man: (looking at completely clean plate) I hated it... haha... Tell the chef this is awful. (slaps own belly)

(You're an idiot. Clearly you couldn't wait to devour this meal, you walrus, because you thought your blood sugar was diving like the Hindenburg since you had to wait an extra five minutes for your table and there isn't enough bread on the continent to satisfy the grumblings your belly produces. Second, you're such a moron to buy a thirty dollar steak and inhale it like Pizza Roll because the 5 dollar gorgonzola you chose to add to the steak, flew off  like a table cloth being pulled by a magician for a trick. You are why everybody hates America.)

Thanks,

a misplaced yank